#i think its even making it worse because they think theyve let me down so much i wont ask again and theyre off the hook

[nimomo-mo]

Vent

[pears-trinkets]

.

[suckinitup]

i saw the words mark winters and like a spell cast over me i started thinking about him again. anyway mark winters hero and ashe villain in that villain oneshot. how does this happen. fucking EAsy. mark gives ashe up.

consider it. there has GOT to be some program with the WATCH for parents who are overwhelmed by their children's dangerous power and need help. this is basically what happened to william. there's gotta be different circumstances and different levels of interference- but ashe isnt even a teenager and he already has a kill count. there is NO WAY he's not being removed from the household for at least the majority of the year until everyone has a better understanding of what he can do and how he can Not Do That Again. in canon, of fucking course mark wouldnt do that. that's mark winters. he'd lose his entire family in less than a week and thats his kid. he cant be sure theyre taking care of him out there or if he'll see him again or whats going on. if ashe leaves, then what is there for him to live for.

but villains mark. hes still mark. he's still hurting. and maybe its not him who's got that heroic little spark- maybe it was his wife who thought they were cool, or he wakes up to ashe sobbing too many times after a nightmare, or he cant stop looking at that fucking book and hating it and he starts to worry that resentment will spread to ashe too. he wants what's best for his kid and the one thing he knows is that ashe won't find that here.

so he picks up his phone. and he calls WATCH.

its rough for both of them. theyve both lost their whole family now. they call every night, then ashe gets busy (because he has friends here, and every time some instructor is harsh with him or something is hard he resents his dad more and more. he knows why he was sent away, but it gets in his head that his dad was scared of him, and thats hard on him. why wouldn't he rather hang out with his friends) and stops picking up the phone as much so it's once a week. then once a month.

mark thinks about killing himself a lot. he lives in a shitty little apartment with horrible neighbours and he goes out to eat every night and he thinks about drinking but he has to stay sober tonight- what if ashe picks up the phone? he cant let his kid hear him like that. and i think he gets offered jobs here and there and he takes them because hey, ashe is gonna come back at some point. he's gotta make sure the kid gets a good present for christmas.

and he gets wrapped back up with overlord.

but the big difference okay. the huge difference. is that he is not responsible for keeping ashe alive. he can take more risks. he can hold grudges. he doesn't have to do the same things that canon mark does - he doesn't have to break his moral code down to its barest essentials (don't hurt kids) like he did in canon. he gets to be fucking PISSED at overlord, and the scientists who hurt him, and every motherfucker who has made his shit life even worse.

thats how he meets tide. they fight a few times, ofc, gotta have that tidalwave viciousness. but then tide has more information than mark does, and mark knows more about the power structures than tide does, so they start working together, and then they dont stop. mark does less and less crimes- tide is valuable as an ally, and his moral code is a fucking pain in mark's ass. he hides his crimes, and then it's more convenient to just stop doing them. tide more often than not has the resources that they need through WATCH and it means that mark gets his ass kicked less often. win/win.

even after overlord goes down, they keep working together. mark never officially agrees to join WATCH but tide quietly keeps giving him new gizmos and gadgets. he gets one of those weird fucking communicator bracelets and tide pretends not to notice how mark modifies it. in WATCH itself tide starts getting scheduled as "tide and wavelength" because where one fucker is the other is too. tide is mark's only friend.

fucking . the clinginess of villains au mark for tide paralleling the clinginess of ashe for the pd in canon ^^ consider. tide feels similarly too he's been lonely as Shit since he stopped getting along w his brothers. they find comfort in each other. they start having beers with each other after work and they start sitting next to each other all the time and they dont talk about it but things Do get more desperate every time one of them goes down in battle. tidalwave ‼‼‼‼

ashe, meanwhile, is getting more powerful. he has mentors who don't snap at him for using the book. they dont try to take it from him or destroy it. they let him keep notes, let him study it, let him learn what monsters are too dangerous and what he can handle. he's learning a lot and he's getting good at it.

and he misses his dad.

mark still calls sometimes, but ashe never picks up. mark sends him cards for birthdays and christmas, and ashe keeps them stashed away in drawers he's scared to look at. he is scared and angry and he is full of many emotions. canon ashe never had to doubt that his dad would help him but au ashe thinks that his dad abandoned him. he's a monster and his dad hates him. its a fuckin stack of dominos where things just fall into place to upset him more and more and more (including the guilt at never picking up marks calls and maybe its not marks fault. ashe Did kill his own mom. of course mark was scared. but ashe can control it now. ashe can protect mark from the book. he can leave, and they can leave, and be a family again and ashe will never have to think about WATCH ever again). so ashe runs away.

he follows the address on the letters and he walks inside and he doesnt see mark. he sees tide. he had been so relieved when he'd finally found mark's apartment- scared and guilty and excited and a thousand different teenage-drama scenarios running through his mind. his dad yelling at him or rejecting him or sweeping him up in this big bone-crushing hug or crying or running or- or- or. the one certainty ashe had was that he wouldnt have to deal with anything WATCH. not here.

but tide is on mark's fucking couch. and mark is asleep on tide's fucking lap. and tide's hand is in mark's fucking hair. ashe had never considered his father getting close to anyone after his mom, and now he's gotten close to tide.

now imagine a teenage tantrum with the power of Big Arms and Rage Without Direction and Abandonment and Hurt and Loss and Super fucking Scary Book. tldr: ashe tries to kill tide <3 mark tries to stop the fighting <3 ashe thinks that he's turned against him <3 tide gets capital h Hurt. ashe runs away again. mark is once again left in the ruins of his own life and just has to fucking deal with it.

[sibylsleaves]

The thing about letting them be in love to me is well. I was a the magicians on syfy enjoyer and literally I would be dumbfounded if a non canon buddie situation ever happened in 911 that would be worse than that. So like nothing can hurt me anymore. But the situation is actually so dire on 911 its like. I would live if buddie canon never happened because I think their relationship provides each other with something theyve never experienced with another person even on a friendship only level. But also they want to kiss so bad. Sooo bad. And they also want to be married to each other and be domestic so bad like its really dire for them. Buck wants to not find but make love with someone eddie wants someone to love and love him back and have magic with and they literally both have that if they would just wake up and KISS already

(if you havent seen the magicians would basically be like if both eddie and buck recently expressed wanting a relationship with each other but eddie was stuck in a place where buck cant get to him and buck is like its okay Im going to spend the whole season trying to save you. And then with 3 episodes left in the season buck got together with abby and then in the finale buck dies and its kinda suicidal but also unclear and also it happens before buck and eddie get to reunite so basically the last time they ever talk is 10ish episodes earlier when buck promises to save him. And then tim minear got on facebook and said buck had to die because he was a white male lead and said people should stop being mad about it because it was actually really progressive of him to kill buck off. When oliver didnt even express wanting to leave the show. Anyways)

ohhhhhh i watched the magicians......not when it was airing but i think i managed to avoid spoilers so.....yeah i know of what you speak 😭💀💀 genuinely one of the most fucked up things a show has ever done to its audience.

but anyway yeah i agree with literally everything you said. it's so dire!!!!!!!!!!!! like literally just thinking about them making eddie settle down with like. random girlfriend #3: this time it's really love i swear. like. it is BLEAK. genuinely makes me sad to think about!!!!

and like. okay. when i watched the show for the first time we were mid-s5. everyone was convinced BT Bones was coming except for me because i was like well taylor has gotten a lot of development and screen time and they DID take their time with getting them together so like. why do all that just to break them up.

and then immediately one episode into 5b their relationship got the death knell in the form of buck kissing lucy. and then they didn't even make lucy a love interest after that. they just kissed one time and it was kinda played as a joke between them but nothing came of it.

and then buck and eddie spent all of season 6 not dating anyone. which was. an interesting choice??? and then natalia and marisol got hastily written in at the end. and then. well. off-screen break-up for one, and basically off-screen relationship for the other (followed by an off-screen break).

at a certain point i do kind of think that like. the writers don't really know how to write them lasting, convincing, compelling romantic relationships. or. they are uninterested in doing so. so like. we’re now 8 seasons in. all the canon couples have had at LEAST 7 seasons of development. what are we doing here. what's the plan. if not buddie canon.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Yeahhhh good to see TADC requests are back up! Hope you’re feeling a lot better with everything going on! Also belated Merry Christmas?

If it’s not much, could I request a scenario for Kinger? If I didn’t misread or anything, I don’t think it was written anywhere that I have to specify requests. Hopefully so cuz I don’t have something in mind other than angst. Also cuz you said that you sometimes have trouble coming up with ideas for certain characters, so u can imagine pretty much everything so it’s not restricting. If you want me to specify, tell me!

Thanks! ^^

General Kinger x Reader Angst stuff!

wooooo definitely weird sitting at my computer again; typing on it while i wait for the oven to preheat because admin craves pizza eheheheheheh uhuhuh!! hope this isnt too bad! its probably going to take a while to get back into the swing of answering requests + writing for TADC, even if its only been like a week most of this ended up being about kingers grief over queenie/queener LMAO was originally going to have this be multiple things but i got too sucked deep into the grief idea

i think we should get the obvious out of the way, but kinger has a problem with zoning out and mixing things up; oftentimes leading to him becoming distressed or frightened. regardless of if youre his friend or partner, youre going to need to exercise a fair amount of patience, especially in the beginning if you want to build some level of trust between the two of you

as for romantic stuff, i dont think he ever truly will fall out of love with queenie/queener, its like how widows never truly stop loving their partners after theyve passed. you try not to think about the idea that he would still be with queenie if she hadnt abstracted... you try not to let it get to you but it still rears its head in, you know?

does notice that something is up with you but you wont open up about it because you feel so horrible about being jealous over a woman who isnt even around anymore in a way that she can likely never come back... which leads to kinger becoming more worried for you over time as you keep trying to shut everything down

imagine it leads to a blow up and you just break down or even lash out because you feel so disgusted with yourself and kinger is just standing there in shock unsure of what to do

very tricky situation, because theres so many factors to take into account. the abstraction, kingers grief, your wellbeing and self worth, things like that

as much as i want to say that kinger would be all over you trying to make it better, because he doesnt want you to abstract, i think that the best course of action would be for you guys to spend a few hours apart at the bare minimum.. whether thats what ends up happening is debatable

or even worse, you abstract in the process of your breakdown, leaving kinger with two lost partners

not totally related, but i like to think kinger leaves flowers and the like at queenies door.. as often as he can.. maybe sometimes he stays at her door talking about how his day went and how everyone else is doing... i think he would do the same for you if you abstracted, too, regardless of if you guys dated or not

unrelated to the reader but i like to think kinger and gangle have a grandpa/granddaughter relationship and he tells her about queenie and tells her about his abstracted wife and

:(

he gets misty eyed

[rubelsalamarffxiv]

First impression graphics not bad, Rubel is still looking quite like himself minus losing something in his eyes. I think they look a lot more dead now. My usual hair isnt in the base cc so I just picked one that shows his full face and I'll be noting more under the cut!

I think the shading on his nose here is also a little off? He actually has a thin and pointy nose, but I dont think the shadows portray it properly, it does a little better with different light though:

It also looks decent in the benchmark, so I'll let the nose go, its probably just a "in certain lighting" thing.

I was totally right about the eyes though. On one hand, his frowning and smirking kind of expressions absolutely SLAP

Whereas his surprised and small smile are a little lacking, and are far less expressive than what Im used to.

and to be fair, I could say the same about his frowny expressions too, because this is what Im currently working with

in general I think losing the shine in his eyes has made his expressions a lot flatter. I know he's seen some shit but gdamn he hasnt died on the inside YET It seems to be with face 4, because the others dont have the same problem, and if I tilt his face up the shines ARE there, but they did something with these eyes that covers them completely. maybe they buffed the eyelashes, which Im 100% down for but they need to sort out the shine too!

Im able to pretty quickly edit it to how I'd like it to look though, pulling his eyelids up is practically all it takes.

The only other major gripe I have is the teeth. It looks like theyve remodelled the teeth, which Im fine with, but when doing so theyve also changed the way keeper teeth look. From this:

to this:

and it makes me very sad. Have you ever seen that snaggletooth dental trend where people get a procedure done that makes their canine teeth stick out? (its apparently called Yaeba) These teeth look like that. In a bad way. (and yes I have seen the female teeth and theyre even worse)

Im totally fine with them being remodelled for the update, but Id prefer them more like this! Quick edit for a side by side

If there is a point where my characters mouth is WIDE OPEN and I cant see that he has fangs, youre just doing keeper wrong smh

I really hope these get fixed before the update! please :skull:

[commander-gloryforge]

hm (kinda a rant/vent/i just wanna get things off my chest and actually TALK about whats been bothering me)

so. theres this person that has kind of been the cause of my recent mental lows/imposter syndrome getting worse/fear of connecting to people and general distance from literally every community i enter. i think ive ranted about them before. theyre a writer and in a community i used to be active in, and in the beginning i got along pretty well with them because we both enjoyed similar themes and metaphors in our writing but they ended up kind of dropping me, coincidentally at the same time they gave my actual writing/current wip a shot, and ever since then theyve been sub posting about me in really weird and elitist ways and it kind of had ruined my spirit, especially considering that i did really look up to them as a writer since theyre very into actual technicalities, writing theory, they speak about writing very academically. their odd vague posting ended up seriously knocking down my confidence and ive been spiraling into this strange mindset ever since that i’m incredibly stupid/can never improve/am not a real or proper writer by virtue of the things i write. they talk highly about writing techniques and concepts every writer needs to know, very subtly punch down at those who dont seem to know, yet dont care to make that knowledge easy to understand or accessible to obtain.

on top of that theyve been getting quite close with another new friend i made recently thats very dear to me and seeing them talk about things i cant seem to keep up with because i am too ‘stupid’ has just made me very anxious and brought up old feelings and fears that ive worked very hard on to let go off. this person is keeping me from interacting with a community i love because i cant seem to get ovr the fact that some people just dont like me, because im getting paranoid, because i think their every word is directed towards me, because theyre popular and well liked and everyone always agrees with them, even when what they say goes against what what i do and like.

it really sucks, its been bothering me so much, especially the fact that i cant just let it go. that i cant just ignore them and move on and do what i like without feeling like its wrong or cringe or weird. everytime i think im ready to go back i suddenly see them talking again with my friends that have offered me so much support whenever ive opened up about my struggles and now they suddenly agree and praise that person for having opinions that directly oppose me and the things they were so keen on supporting me on.

but recently i remembered something they said. they said that they dont want to be self indulgent in their writing, that ‘there’s nothing necessarily wrong with self indulgence but it reflects in the writings quality’, that you can ‘tell’ and they dont like that. when they first posted that i just read it and went. oh :( my writing is self indulgent :( does this reflect in my quality as well? is that why they dropped my writing and me, because i like being loud about self indulgence and cringe? and now i remembered that post, and suddenly it kind of clicked

this person very obviously does not write for the same reason as i do. they very obviously do not feel about writing thhe way i feel about it. they talk about it as though it is a science. like its something that needs to be perfected. now, it’s clear that they do love writing, that they have a passion for it, and their technical knowledge very much reflects on their art- and that impresses people. im not like that. i want to learn writing techniques and i want to improve my craft and i want to be taught, properly so, i obviously want to be a good writer, and im going to be a little self obsessed and say that i am a good writer, or at least not a bad one. but there is a difference in how each of us sees writing.

i want to be self indulgent. i want to write what i love. i fucking love writing and story telling and yes, the fact hat my writing is self indulgent does impact the quality of my work, because it makes it better. i am passionate about my worlds and stories and characters because its exactly what i want it to be and thats why is fucking good. because it makes me want to put effort in and learn how to get better. i dont write for a grade, i dont write to make something perfect and deep and meaningful and serious, i dont write to impress someone, i dont write to squeeze as many smart things and references to classic literature in as i can, i write because i want to fucking write what i like.

so im stupid. so im cringe and bad and insecure and a loser and i dont fit into the good writers club but at least what i write makes me happy. whatever. let some fucking whimsy into your life and stop treating me like im an idiot for having different motivations than you.

[jade-kyo]

RvB 20th rewatch: s8

Here it is… honestly might be the best season.. idk 13 and 10 are up there too but g o d there is something special about 8. Fucking peak cinema.

DOC!!!!!!!!

Love how this opening scene parallels season 2

The thing you have to remember about this season is during the entirety of it Donut is just bleeding out in Valhalla… the entire time. And bro still survives. Fucking cockroach.

GRIF TUCKER FRIENDSHIP!!!!

“It’s not fair! I worship Church way before it was cool to worship him!”

I love that not being able to wear pants is the one thing that actually gets to Church

I AM THE BEST-

SARGE IS SO SMART!!!! Seriously his character is SO GOOD in the recollection I go FERAL

Shotgun

GOD the way my jaw still drops every time that warthog busts through the wall

Doc in the wall

WASHINGTON!!!!!!!

“Don’t do it you fuckeeeeeerrr”

They call Grif yellow so frequently how did I never notice it before 😂

DELTA!!!!!

LOVE this show letting its characters make bad jokes

I love how even as a villain Wash is still hilarious and fun to watch

DOC SAYS FUCK

Bad jokes my beloved

“Wash you can’t kill everyone you meet” // “why not?” Bro is so real for that

My beauty

My beloved

My queen

My goddess

AGENT TEXAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fun fact: Tex vs the reds and blues was the first thing I ever saw from Red vs Blue. My brother showed it to me when I was nine. I thought it was hilarious

“Buttons! Oh man I love buttons!” Quoted line

PROTECT ME CONE

“I feel defeated yet inexplicably rejuvenated!”

“Knock the black right off ya” // “that’s racist”

G O D

She so fucking sexy

Honestly I get Church. If I bagged a girl like Tex I too would commit war crimes

THE ICONIC CHEX MOMENT I LOVE THEMMMMMMM

DIVORCED VIBES MY BELOVED

Wash is so fed up… don’t worry babygirl you will rediscover your inner silly soon

“It not god dude, it’s church, he just thinks he’s god”

LOVE META AND WASH BEING A LITTLE SILLY

D I V O R C E D V I B E S

The whole scene between Church, Tex, and Tucker. It’s just so silly. I love them.

I feel like Wash still being a likable character is a big part of why him just switching sides at the end works so well

Washington used to wet the bed

Tucker getting frustrated with Tex and Church constantly getting themselves killed… taking notes…

Meta is just beating the shit out of a dead alien akdhkahsk

I love Sheila

I think we should rename the Chex ship name to divorced vibes

“I didn’t want to come back��� damn Tex…

Here it comes… THE quintessential red team moment

MAYBE YOURE ALL HERE BECAUSE DEEP DOWN YOU WANT TO BE HERE

THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION THAT STARTED IT ALL IS THAT THEY ACTIVELY CHOOSE TO BE HERE BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE HERE I AM FUCKING FERAL SEASON 8 MY BELOVED

RED TEAM HAS SUCH GOOD CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ITS SO SUBTLE YOU DONT EVEN REALIZE ITS HAPPENING AND THEN IT HITS YOU AND YOU REALIZE JUST HOW FAR THEYVE ALL COME AND I AKSHKAHSKSBAKHSKSBS

ICE FIGHT AISHKAHSK POSSIBLY MY FAVORITE FIGHT IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING SHOW F E R A L

Also love that despite everything Doc still helps Wash

HERE COMES THE CALVARY

God this moment between Church and Wash has so many layers I am frothing at the mouth

And here it comes… the moment they went from red vs blue to the reds and blues… one team with complete and total faith in one another

THE FACT THAT SARGE GRABS THE MEMORY UNIT OFF META SO IT WONT BE PULLED OFF THE CLIFF WITH HIM AHSKHAKSBAKHSKS FUCKING FERAL

Me when Church calls Caboose buddy and trusts him to remember him HAKSHAKSHSKSJJS F E R A L

AND THUS WASH IS FORCED INTO HIS REDEMPTION BY THIS GROUP OF MULTICOLORED IDIOTS AAAAHHHHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

“We always seem to find each other for better or for worse” usually worse

“If you’ve gotta live the rest of your life in a memory… you might as well make it a good one” screaming crying throwing up

Foaming at the mouth over here bro I go so feral over this season HOLY SHIT THE HYPE IS SO REAL THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING god I fucking love this show so much. Also I think this might be the longest one of these posts has gotten

[washingtonlowercases]

i have a lot of Thoughts about the chicago situation and im going to put them under the cut cause i know no one cares but i have no one to talk to so they're going here anyway

tw: sexual assault, r*pe, hazing ?

okay so like... what happened?? i watched that press conference (yay being unemployed, we love it here and we are NOT going insane) and i am now convinced that perry probably didnt have sex with bedards mom but actually did something really, really, very much so worse.

im not convinced nothing happened between perry and any bedard though. its such a specific rumor. and the gm and all these reporters being like iTS DISGUSTING TO EVEN SUGGEST- okay so where did it come from then?? can you show me the tweet from rangersfan420 who hates the hawks and started a rumor for fun?? can you find the source to PROVE its just a stupid internet lie?? i know its hard but if im chicago, im putting someone on it. if im a reporter (i know its a hard job, its a lot of work, etc but i have very little sympathy for most hockey reporters specifically because of, well- name any incident) im SCOURING the web for the source of that rumor to either ask how they know, or embed the link in my pay-wall blocked article for clicks!! you KNOW it would work, at least a few times. theyve had two days, has anyone even attempted this? (someone who's job it is, who's getting paid literally to either create news or to kill the rumor more effectively than whatever the hell the hawks are trying right now)

i might believe something sexual assult-y happened between perry and a player's family or player even except we KNOW for a FACT that the nhl and the hawks specifically do not care about that. they can "we're committed to change" all they want (clearly that's not working) but what motive would they have for kicking perry off the team? when has the NHL, or NHL fans (the loud, obnoxious majority, anyway) cared when a player has assaulted anyone?? we have seen sex crime after sex crime against women (and men!) committed by these players who are STILL PLAYING. no consequences enforced by their team, by the league, or by the media or fans (generally. there are good fans and there are some media outlets that care). so really, the hawks have no reason to kick perry off the team, or address the media, or make this into A Thing at all if that were the case. I know its hard to quash a rumor once it starts, but i honestly think if they had just been like "perry did *insert sex crime here* and thats bad, sooweee" people would be like BUT HES A GREAT PLAYER and people would be liek THAT SUCKS KICK HIM OFF THE TEAM and then in 30 hours there would be something new to yell about. (because being the moral police for this FUCKING LEAGUE is exhausting. where my red wings girlies who are dead inside at?? let me hear you scream into the void!)

so let's take a sexual encounter/assault off the table. what the hell was it?? probably not a racist thing. the chicago hockey team for sure doesn't care about that (See: their logo). its probably not a straight up and down illegal thing because the cops aren't involved as far as we know. (not that that really matters to this league either. remember the val nichushkin thing?? or the lucic thing?? {im assuming he'll be playing again soon} or like a million other things?? god this league is exhausting)

i saw someone say a hazing thing and that i might believe, esp bc of how their gm looked on the brink of tears. but then... say that?? or then why say no one else in the locker room knows about it?? are we keeping them in the dark or are we covering their asses legally??

this league is so fucked up, that there's honestly not much i can imagine that a hockey player could do that would warrant THIS from his team and the NHL.

(unless of course he's claimed off waivers or signed in like three months, then it's probably your garden variety assault/hazing/drunk/racist incident)

UGH i hate it here sometimes

[ahaura]

yellowjackets s2e9 lb

"the wilderness chose" I DONT THINK IT DID BUT OK!!!!

I RECOGNIZE THOSE CHORDS? GUITAR? HELLOOOOOOOO ITS BEEN YEARS

ZOMBIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ok but like. the wilderness"" might have gotten into them but they CHOSE to do it that way like they CHOSE to let javi drown/freeze to death i think thats more them devolving into "survival on the only way know how to justify it to themselves" mode

also how insane is it that they were all willing to eat natalie 10 minutes ago and theyve all been starving and just like that your team turns on you bec "the wilderness chose' thats nuts

"give it a hunt" is this when my girl lisa dies. i will beat up misty for lisa idc

i dont mean to get personal on main but lottie's desperation...for lack of a better word... reminds me of me when i **** ** **** ***** and at that time i was just. so desperate to believe in [redacted] i was DESPERATE i was so far down i was just clawing at the pit walls like. god.

"make sure none of your people are here for this" NOOOOOO LISA

"we got over it" LIIIIIIIIIIIES

"i didnt want this" "you started this" LETSGOOOOOOO

oh this is so fucked

shauna butchered them... alone... it was her duty.... no wonder shes so fucked up

WALTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

SO GOOD TO SEE HIM

jeff.... the cops.... bleh

NATALIE TRYING TO SAVE LISA BUT WE KNOW HOW THIS GOES

"youre not like them" "im worse" OH NAT NO NO NO NO NO

"im glad im alive" van says to travis whose brother just died because the team is starving and it was supposed to be natalie but misty saved her so javi died in his place and theyre going to eat javi and travis will have to eat his brother to survive. insane people.

"let your brother save you, travis. after everything he went through out here. dont you at least owe him that?" INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE FUCKING THING TO SAY VAN HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT FUCKING CRAZY

walter i likeyou so much please stick around 4 life youre so funny

"youre being awfully judgy about mom considering this all started because of your lame attempt at blackmail" CALLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LETS FUCKING GO

i feel so bad for her. her parents suck so fucking bad her mom is fucked up and withheld love from her and doesnt love her like her dead baby brother and her dad is a pathetic dude who is like, trying his best but hes just sO pathetic and not even in a fun way. he has the spirit tho. shes gonna be sSOOOOO fucked up when shes grown up

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WALTER YOU LEGEND

walter and misty match made in heaven TBH

OH GOD

JAVI'S LITERAL HEART? OH GOD

is that... buffy sainte marie singing?

I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I CALLED IT KNEW IT LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO

OH MY GOD? MAYBE CALLIE?

CALLIE OR LISA WHICH IS IT

LET THE COP DIE IN THEIR PLACE DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

jesus christ

they really never left huh

WALTER TALTERSAL YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING PSYCHO YOU ARE SO MUCH FUN

walter fucking over this smarmy little shit cop is SOOOOOOOOOOOO fun

oh my god lottie

the wilderness left lottie...?

NATALIE????????

IS NATALIE THE ANTLER QUEEN

OH MY GOD THAT INSANE

I LOVE IT

HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

what is a god to a nonbeliever etc etc oh my GOD NATALIEEEEEE

"you were always its favorite" OH MY GOD???????????/

LISAAAAAAAA MY GIRL LISA LISA LISA LISA

"we tried to kill you and it wouldn't let us"

INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE

THE ATHEIST WHO MEETS GOD THE NONBELIEVER THE TRUE RELUCTANT SAINT THE UNWILLING APOSTLE ET CETERA LETS FUCKINGGOOOOOOO?

lottie kissing natalie's hand is insane im goi g insane INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE

the girls allow javi to die in nat's place (or the wilderness kill him in nat's place) > shauna offers travis javi's heart to eat as first dibs in honor/waiting for permission > travis eats his brother's heart > natalie is named lottie's successor as the unwilling apostle the reluctant saint the cursed etc etc > travis places her hand on his heart

NAT BEING "CHOSEN" ALL THOSE YEARS AGO

NAT THROWING HERSELF IN FRONT OF SOMEONE WHO GAVE HER FORGIVENESS TO SAVE LISA

aaaaaand radiohead to send us off eh?

NAT IS DYING OH GOD

nat :(

WHAT DO YOU EAN WE'LL SEE?

CALLIE???????

COACH TRIED TO BURN THEM ALIVE?

OH I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO HIS DEMISE

[castlebyersafterdark]

the way you speak about smoking ganja (to use a murray term lol) is so chill and seeing as there was convo about a**l prep... i mean hyler has been discussed but i think its strictly post show. even though theyve laid seeds. it could go either way... will caving as an escape, or thinking it would increase anxious visions too much. he was pretty scornful of jon's habit and mike looked disgusted too at argyle in the van with eden. for me its always a shame to miss on the experience (tried it once) because... i can't stand the smell! im sure some people would say there's different types and strains and flavours etc, but overall whenever i smell it drifting on the wind (lol) or something, it just stinks like after it's been raining and all the trees and foliage smell soooo strong and like wet creepy crawlies on the ground ugh

that + my smell association with snobby people at college who made me feel lame for not being into it. im sad cos you make it sound chill and i would love to empathise and enjoy hyler more but i just cant 😭😭😭

I always hope I'm not being annoying about it, since I just feel there's nothing wrong with it and it should be destigmatized, but also... it doesn't need to be someone's full personality haha. No one should ever pressure or make people feel bad though, that's the lame shit. I don't find the smell terrible! But it depends on the strain, too. Some nicer or worse than others. And it's possible to just dislike it all! Different things smell different to others.

It's like this... I've been pretty open about my struggles with anxiety and restless brain and depression. But I'm very on the mend and upwards the last few years. Partaking helps me. Personal, but other meds were a negative. This does the trick. Medical use and fun uses. Versitile haha. It's not something I constantly do or do everyday, but it's common. And calms me.

But yesss Hyler as people call it. I think we're right in that there's hesitance with Mike and Will, especially Will who might fear what it would do to his brain and Mike who's just judgemental. But I think they, together, have opportunity and try it. And oh, it makes Will relax for a little bit, takes the edge off. Does wonders. An escape, for sure. I think Will's also the kind of guy who gets lost in his own head, and after everything that went down in his life, he'd probably enjoy the means of just chilling out and letting himself drift.

And of course, you mentioned it in relation to the lovely little sex chats recently 😉 and I know I've implied things in the past... stand by it. Very true!! It just enhances everything really in my opinion but especially that particular act. Not using it for everything and everytime... but. Yeahhhhh 😘

[gayspock]

ok night night

genuinely fuckingmadness what doesnt set me off what doesnt make it worse. i knowisound so fucking stupid and i start to go nuts sobbing thinking about how fucking little i must seem. then its like who is even caring that much. then i go nuts BECAUSE nobody is caring that much. then i realise none ofitwill change anything regardlessand it passes me by and im just fucking nobody and nothing. where was i. yeah what doesnt set me the fuck off i dont know i think everything just makes me melt down and i cant find anything. that even remotely fucking offsets it or anything that helps or anyhting at all that i can fucking hold onto like a fucking lifeline that i dont fuck up. and it doesnt matterhow much im exposed to it it just gets worse and worse and worse. i htink its the only thing i can ever fucking do. i think ican do nothing but rememebr the times ive tried to fuckingtalk to people in the past and howmuch of a frustrating fucking force i am but i genuinely donot fucking have anything else in me but fucking rot and even that is a fucking groanworthy fucking melodrama but its fucking true i cant fucking responmd to anything i just fucking let everyone dwn but theres nothing else there to do or to giveand if there really fucking im desperate to fuckingknow but i feel like its jsut circles . every attempt jsut feels like a resounding fucking rejection or fucking failure heres another thing that doesnt work thatmakes it worse thats this thats whatever let me rub it in for you like salt in the fucking wound i think

if eel sick iwth myself and start to go nuts htinking about how fucking hard it is to ever talk to people how fucking little there isleft to even try to do so how fucking isolated i am how little energy i have left in me how theres nothing for anyone to fucking latch onto how even if i somehow summoned enough energy, the sort ive not fucking managed in years, to somehowfind some sort of companionship in even the vaguest most distant of senses something something the loneliness that sets in isnt just that i dont think i can ever fucking try to make a connection anywaybecause i cant fucking do anything but tank it all and insert a fucking litany of otherbullshit and knowing if i could even manage to not be alone for a seocnd it would be gone sof ast when everyone fully fucking understands hoiw muych of a lost cause i am , like the actual fucking anger at how fucking incompetent a person could be and i fucking feel it and iknow its there and no matter how hard i try to fucking fight it because it doesnt matter itnever matters notihng means fucking anything and it hasnt for s so fucking long andi just breakdown i getupset and nothing shifts and its so so fucking pointless how hard it fufcking hurts and it never means anything its jsut so fucking trivial at this point try to fuckign find some fucking thing

i keep jsut getting so angry and hateful in response to everything to evertything and god help me i am trying to fucking bite it down please dont fucking be a cunt and take it out on everyone else but i cant fucking suppress it i fucking want to snap at everyone like who fucking caresany more its fucking nasty and its pathetic butevery time i see anyone else happy i just start to get so so fucking . bitter inside like its not fucking fair type bullshit i fucking hate everyone that has someone else in their life that they cant count the number of conversations theyve had on their hands outside of a work context in the past few years thattheres things they want to live for and things theyre excited about or things theyre even good at and have some fucking purpose in and i start to get fucking angry and upset knowing everyone else just fuckinggets to experience the world even its fukcing hard sometimes but ijust cant even figure out whatswrong with me knowing damn well its just nothing i jsut. pure fucking inadequacy pure fucking emptiness that nothings ever going to fucking fix it and i know nothings ever going to fucking fix it and i try to fucking just letmyself go sofucking much but i just get so fucking mad and uspoet like its anyone elses fucking problem and i cant . seem to fucking getanywhere or do anyhting or feel anything any more i think about howmany days ive just lost to jsut trying to make it fucking go away and somehow thats the best i have thats the best i can do or have ever managed to do and i thinki about the fucking way thats all im capable of i really fucking resent every fucking day i seriously do is anyone else crazy or like

[ghost-of-the-machine]

just saw a button that says "im not myself today. maybe im you" SHUT UP....... dont remind me!!! theres a specific shame in it that no one seems to grasp, which makes sense, when do i ever explain it?

it feels so. shameful, even though i know i cant help it, even if its just my natural tendency, its like. i want to RISE ABOVE my disorder, but.. i cant. its a personality disorder, it defines my personality. having back to back personality/dissociative disorders is so fucked up man i do not know who i am!!!! my only worth of myself comes from what other people tell me. am i sweet? am i kind? am i funny? at surface level i believe it, thats how i seem to others so it must be true... but beneath that i detest it, i feel rotten to my core. it feels disingenuous since its coming from others instead of within, so i feel like im hiding something. like theres some part of me thats so indescribably ugly and vile, and i cant let anyone i love see it. even when theyve already seen it, i hide it further, i pretend like its not real. i forget long conversations full of understanding and love, i embrace the fact that i need to hide this thing, this monster. there is no monster!! its just me, and that makes it worse.

isnt it horrifiying, though? i take the voices of others, take their mannerisms, sometimes i even take their skin, i shape myself in someone elses image. realistically i know why, mimicry keeps you safe from rejection, people are less likely to throw you away if you act like them. you are more likely to be accepted into a group if you mask and mirror. you pick up on their vocabulary, their personalities, and you display it back to them. but theres more to it than that, i spend too much time abusing myself over things i cant control, in the hopes that itll fix me. its not like i do it just to endear myself, i do it because i like it. is that worse, then? i like when i copy, i like the way people are!! i wanna be like the people i like, is that bad? i cant tell, i see it from both sides. it makes me feel dirty. i really dont know who i am

am i still the angry boy i was in middle school? that was me right? maybe it wasnt me, maybe im new.. if im new then who am i? am i the me i draw? the me i project out to others? who would that even be?? it seems no matter what, i remain dissatisfied with how everyone sees me, like theyre not seeing ME... but how can i know what that should be if i dont know myself? its like its locked somewhere within myself, but ill never be able to open it up, never be able to wear the skin i was meant to wear. i think it has nothing to do with the usual suspects, nothing to do with gender dysphoria, social anxiety, no. my mind is made of barriers and walls, im hiding from myself. i want to see it, dont i deserve it? its me after all.

to other people i must be someone right? so why does it feel so wrong? its not me, its wrong! surely its wrong? idk man. it makes me tired, i remember a couple years ago i managed to completely convince myself that i existed in a box and the box wasnt real, the whole time i was completely dissociated from my body, imagining one of my self inserts instead, crying and panicking because i wanted to get out of the box it was. MESSY, but when i calmed down i realized i was so worked up cuz i didnt know myself

for years ive worn the clothes my family picked, i didnt even know i could change my hair, i thought it wasnt allowed. i didnt have any self expression whatsoever. i was a husk, a shell of a person. to the point where now when i buy a piece of clothing, or i do ANYTHING with my appearance, i feel this.. it feels like such a big deal to me, and no one else really cares cuz hello? yr supposed to do that i guess, but i was 18 years too late. i have no sense of self cuz ive never explored myself, i thought it was against the rules. i dont know why i thought that, but its fucked me up i guess. i feel lost, i feel aimless. and im sucked back into that familiar feeling, i feel empty

[alyimoss]

i hear dream and dust and my head snaps around 180 degrees in two frames.

the thing abt dream and the mtt is he would try his hardest to get them out of nightmares grasp. he believes they deserve a chance to be better than they are. and the interesting thing abt this is that if theres one common thread between all of the mtt its that they do not think they deserve that.

dust i think is the best example of this bc horror generally refuses to admit the things he did were wrong and killer is killer.

dust believes that the "best" fate for him is staying under nm's control. is he suffering? yes. is he making other people suffer? yes. does his suffering get worse as a result? yes. and this is what he deems "just" for what he's done.

as long as he is suffering he can say that the people hes killed are getting vengeance. as long as he keeps hurting others, he can keep suffering. he doesnt think a fate where he is redeemed is fair to his victims. he doesnt think theres anything he can do except rot in his guilt and his misery and keep killing and keep hurting because thats what he is now - a murderer. and he doesnt deserve to be anything more.

he has a strict self-imposed role that he doesnt stray from.

...hey, know who else has a strict self-imposed role that he doesnt stray from??

granted, its not wholly self-imposed. the role of "guardian of positivity" has been his since his mother's death. but the way in which he fulfils this role is very much self-imposed. the persona he puts out there is of his own making.

dream imo thinks he needs to be always helpful and nice and bright and palatable... no matter how he feels about certain people, he keeps a smile on his face and lets himself be pushed around because he thinks thats the best way to guarantee the positivity of others. he never turns down requests for help no matter how drained he might be because what kind of helper isnt always available to help, yknow? the ways in which he fulfills his role are draining to him and, were he mortal, would be entirely unsustainable (even as he is its barely sustainable)

anyway what im getting at is theyre pretty similar. and i think its an interesting thing for dream, whos so used to helping people who desperately want out of their horrible situations, to see someone clearly suffering and acknowledging it but refusing to leave. it would probably be baffling to him at first. dream and dust (and honestly dream and the entirety of the mtt plus nightmare) are a study in the appeal of negativity and the tendency of people to dwell in it instead of working to get better because of a whole range of reasons.

dream would try to convince dust that he doesnt have to stay with nm, that he can help him get out and go somewhere like the omega timeline and get a second chance, but dust would hear him out silently and then ask him if he doesnt have a duty of his own. hed answer that he does, obviously, and dust would answer that so does he. he has a duty to those hes hurt to feel the same pain theyve been through.

"...and how long will you be suffering like this?"

"eternity."

theyre interesting to me because through each other i think they would recognize their biggest flaws, specifically this sense of "duty" that does nothing but harm. through trying to change this in the other, they change it in themselves, yknow??

also i just like the idea of dream being able to vent to dust. and the rest of the mtt, really. he doesnt often let himself do stuff like that, but they convince him its good to ged the feelings out (and theyre right) and he just sits there and tells them all the grievances he has that he couldnt say to the faces of whoever hed had them with.

ive mentioned this before in a post, that i think the mtt invite dream ti hang out a lot. because they like his positive aura, how it makes everything more bearable, even if just for a little bit. how they dont allow themselves good things because they dont think they deserve them, but its almost like an instinct to survive at this point and being around dream allows their bodies rest at last.

i just generally think dream is very liked in the multiverse lmao. in part because of his aura, sure, but mostly because hes just neat. he hangs out with the mtt and then stops by the omega timeline to hang out with core and others, then while hes out and about reaper pops outta nowhere and gives him some food and drink like "here, a gift from my bro and i" and then he goes to ccino's cafe and hes got a regular order already that ccino gets ready wordlessly as he sees dream approach. and obviously he hangs out with the stars both on missions and off. and he somehow ends up hanging with error when theyre not on opposing sides?? he likes undernovela, too. fresh would also like him, if mostly for the fact hes very useful...

can you tell i like dream.

Know I love thinking about characters who I don't really see together

Like, tf Color and Error think of each other. I mean how much of an AT is too much for Error? Like if its an AT turned to an A like is he chill for a sec and then not? Tf Color think of him?

Killer and Epic would be a funny duo maybe, but not necessarily for the reasons one may think.

What are the one-on-one dynamics of the epic sanses like?

Dream and Horror?? or Dust??

Outer or Birdtale and literally anyone? LMAO

(feel free to add if you wanna I like talking LMAOO)

[thithesandofferings]

  “Strength Training”

¶Pairing: Ichigo x Reader x White Ichigo:

¶Synopsis: Ichigo is known to be a little brass, but still very controlled. But sometimes, he just wants to let loose, he wants to see how far he can really go. Ichigo doesn’t know is own strength, but he’s very excited to experiment on you.

¶Tags: Overstimulation, Rough Sex, Biting, Marking, Overall Possessiveness, Mating Press, Hollow..sex?

Kinktober Masterlist

You know that Ichigo hasnt been around anyone weaker than you in a very very long time. And he doesnt mean to say that like its bad thing. Everyone around him is practically immortal.  Honestly, every time he talks about how "weak" you are, his get a tad darker. But its gone in a blink and you are confused if you even saw it. You even think you saw a tinge of yellow briefly. But you tried not to really think about it. 

But that was just poor foresight on your part. 

Because its so easy to forget how strong ichigo is. How he just..picks you up and softly manhandles you if you just happen to be in his way. Makes your thighs squeeze together so tightly when he picks you up by the waist and helps you grab that thing from the top shelf. He does it so often that he'll do it instinctively. Even around others. And will always have the audacity to blush and tell Renji to shut up when he teases him about it. 

One time you mentioned about your insecurity of maybe being heavy and the way Ichigo looks at you- as if you had insulted him, and says,

"I throw enemies 10 times the size of you with one hand, I doubt a few pounds will do anything to my physique" And you hope he doesnt catch the shiver trapping down your spine. 

What also makes it even worse is when his hollow comes around and snickers at you for it. Aiding in the torture that is ichigos strength. The hollow loves the thought of considering himself a Prince to you. Willing to carry you to the kitchen bridal style just so you can get a drink of water. You adore them both, and you dont mind getting carried, so you dont mind indulging them.

So when its movie night and midway you are lifted up into Ichigos lap, you think nothing of it. 

Until he starts kissing your neck and grinding up into you slowly. Making sure to grab your hips, with steady strong hands, strong enough to make sure you dont move. 

"You okay?" he whispers, its muttered fast, as if he's singularly being the only reason he's holding back. 

But you wouldnt mind if he did more. 

And so you that. And his grip becomes tighter 

Hands tugging and pulling a little too hard and youre a little struck surprised when squeezes your tits disrespectfully. He's usually so gentle, concentrating on you- always wanting you to come first. 

His hands are hot as he grabs on to rapidly moving downward until he pulls you closer, your back hitting his chest as he spreads your legs wider, hard enough to leave bruises. 

"Want more princess?" The gravel snickering makes you freeze. Huff out an astonished breath as a white hand close fully around your still clothed cunt. And the other gripping at your neck.  Cupping and squeezing as he waits for your surprise to abate. 

"I've seen how you look at me Princess, like you wanna see how someone like me can make you scream. And I can, beauty- you wont ever have to question it again." He squeezes your cheek and hes too eager and gripping too hard, but you moan regardless. The pain is divine. 

You have to try to sit up and clear your head while he's kissing down the back of your neck because 

"I-ichigo, what about-"

"You dont need to worry about King, he's right here- waiting. He's just decided that its about time to share his prize" The yellowed eyes and twisted mouth were definitely put upon in a pout. As if theyve been arguing about this for a while. 

"Think King just likes to tease me, making sure to call me every time you two fuck- to watch him slide his cock in you and not be able to touch you." You gasp as he wrestles you and flips you underneathe him. Its so easy for him to use his brute strength. Crowding your space and forcing you to wince and put your hands on the arm of the couch, with a gruff "keep them there" that oddly sounded like Ichigos voice, as he slides a slender finger inside of you. 

"Fuck youre already so wet, you wanted to fuck me? Couldnt wait until you got your hands on me huh, is it hot knowing that your boyfriend and I are one in the same- that we want the same thing?" He leans in further towards your lips, brushing them back and forth, grinning when he bites your lips so hard they bleed a little. 

"To ruin you. Throw you around and make you feel it."

"All wet and desperate just because im manhandling you."

"Ha. I doubt it, you both dont have the guts to even fuck me the way I want"

And maybe you should have kept your mouth closed, because you see a flash of both the Hollows and Ichigos eyes go gold and still. 

He grabs your jaw hard, forcing your mouth open to slide his hollow tongue into your throat, making you gag. The kiss is famished. Hot, and wet- messy. Saliva dripping down the side of your chin as you try run away. His laugh becoming maniacal, and he chases you and ruts his cock against you. Barely paying mind to the small ounce of clothing that your wearing, you can feel every part of his dick through his pants. Him only pausing to bite at your bloodied lips before shoving his tongue back down, iron filling your mouth. 

And you're starting to get whiny, you want him inside now. 

"So fucking cute, begging like that- cant believe he kept this from me."

The Hollow grumbles this as he sucks big dark bruises into your neck that sting. And from the looks of it, itll look like you've been mauled tomorrow when you see everyone. Ichigo looks pleased as punch at that thought. 

"You want it?" You can tell that its your orange haired lover at this point, but he is...different. Grabbing his cock and smacking it against your slit- hard. 

But you dont run, if anything you want more. Anticipation overriding any emotion as he slides your sleep shorts to the side. Humming and pinching your clit meanly making you squeal and try to close your legs. He holds your legs open so easily, no matter how much you struggle. And you hope you dont moan loud enough for him to hear how much that turned you on. 

He pins your hands harder above the couch, pushing them further down into the cushions, your readiness liable to kill you. 

Ichigo pauses for a moment, considering- before he completely rips open the crotch part of the sleeping shorts- leaving a gaping hole of fabric falling off. Him humming about how much better it is. About how much he wants to abuse your cute insides. Make it theirs so no one else will ever have to touch you again. 

He folds you in half, feet close to your ears, and he slides into you before you can even blink. Hole convulsing around you as he buries his dick deep. He's gritting his teeth as he shoves his cock into you, so hard its making you yelp. He's completely flushed, eyelashes fluttering and eyes flickering from Ichigo and hollow in blinks as he processes the pleasure. Groaning when he hits your spot perfectly over and over. 

Fucking Ichigo always feels like a warm river, nice and flowing and steady- sometimes changing- but comfortable, nonetheless. But it seemed today, he had an agenda, fucking into you without prep. It makes you choke on your own breath as pleasure and pain crash down on you tenfold. The maniacal laughter is the only thing that makes you remember that the hollow is still there. Making sure you feel wave after wave of pleasure. Not taking long to come crashing down. Screaming at how brutal and intense he's got you. 

"Such a good fucking hole. Fuck, youre gonna make me come already." He doesn’t mention that he plans to keep going until you’re fucked braindead, especially when you realize he hasn’t gone soft at all. Coming inside you and continuing to thrust, loving the way you cry out of oversensitivity and try to push him away. Ichigo grabs both your thighs and forces you closer, making sure you're encasing him fully in warm heat and it makes you scream at being filled so full and so fast again. 

"You can take it until i come right?"

[princeanxious]

So, Anxceit but make it a human au and a rivals to lovers speedrun, these are my notes, lets go:

Virgil and Janus have a past from their parents trying to pit them against eachother despite trying to be bestfriends when they were kids and it translated into Virgil growing Taller and eventually intimidating the fuck out of Janus and Janus just never backing down as their short genuine friendship as kids turned into a toxic rivalry very quickly.

They never get full on violent but it's a very close thing, where Virgil has had instances of pushing past Janus and pinning Janus to walls when he says something scathing that hits too close to home(because he Knows they both know Both of their weaknesses so well, and is convinced Virgil will use them against Janus and does it first to avoid being hurt first)

It all comes to a head when theyre in senior year and finally starting to come to terms that they both fucking hate their parents for what they did to them and dont want the future their parents want for them, and realizing theyre gay and knowing their parents wont accept that just tops it all off.

(continued under the cut)

Well, maybe Janus is coping with is worse than Virgil is, still having some internalized homophobia left thats directed at Janus himself even if hes trained the rest of it out of himself, bc Virgil has a network of friends and support now and Janus doesnt, bc he forcibly isolated himself, and lashes out at Virgil possibly being gay too(which mightve hit /him/ too close to home as just Another Thing to compete with Virgil with)

And Virgil, not immediately understanding the situation but for once theyre alone with no one to pull him away from Jan so he just pins him to a wall with a threat about being real sick of Jans shit, being gay isn't wrong and he sure as he'll isnt going to take shit from /Janus/ about it, of all people

And Janus is caught tongue tied bc its the exact moment he realizes he Really Loves Virgil for being stronger than him (physically and mentally through all the shit theyve both gone through) and never knew how to cope with it, and their adrenaline is high, and it's the exact moment Janus realizes he doesn't give a shit about what his Parents think anymore and does something he hopes his future self won't regret.

"Fuck it, I'm already a disappointment to them," Is all Janus says to himself, not giving Virgil enough time to process it before grabbing Virge's jacket and pulling him down into a kiss.

Cue extremely heated mutual making out because Virgil is just Done trying to parce anything out at the moment and finally doing what he'd wanted to do for /years/. Despite the jabs and mutual toxicity, Virgil was able to see through the outside in just how much worse Janus had it as they grew up, understood his lashing out as a trapped animal that was never going to know safety until he escaped, and they other reason they had turned on eachother was because of their parents mutual effort to pit them against one another. He may not have loved Janus in that exact moment, but he was damn well ready to.

Eventually Virgil moves down Janus's neck, and bites down hard enough to mark and suck a noticable bruise into Janus's neck, because they both know Janus's parents are going to flip about it, "That's for all the years you were a dick,"

And then he oh so gently cups Janus's lost face and presses a much softer much sweeter kiss to Janus's lips, "and thats for all the same years that /I/ was a dick right back."

And then they stand there, tucked up against eachother against the wall, clinging to eachother in a desprate attempt to keep the fragile peace.

"Our parents are fucking awful." Jan says

"I could've told you that, but yeah. Welcome to club a la shitty parents, population: us." Virgil agrees.

"..I'm sorry. For all of it."

"I know you are. We'll figure it out. In the mean time, your coming with me to Pat's house, no choice in the matter. Its a safe space and we're gonna use it to talk about our.. ugh, *feelings.*" Virgil fakes an exaggerated look of disgust, but it falls away to a softer, indecernable look.

"Gross. But I wouldnt dream of fighting you on that even if i could," Janus snarks, tucking his head against the others chest.

"..Yes you would." Virgil smirks, leaning his head on Janus's.

"..Yes, I would. But only because I seem to *love* riling you up." Janus agrees, feeling lighter than he ever had in his life.

Virgil was going to have trouble explaining exactly Why his childhood rival was tucked into his lap, dressed in his favorite hoodie, and not snarking and cursing him out to Virgil's friends; but nothing was gonna compare to the absolute chaos that erupted when Virgil and Janus had glanced at eachother somepoint later down the timeline and leaned in to kiss eachother as casually and naturally as if theyd already been doing it for months.

It was certainly going to be a very long afternoon, but. It was also the day everything changed for the better, and they wouldnt have had it any other way.